Husbands and Wives Submit. Say What?

🔹 A PRAYER TO START OUR MESSAGE

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the high calling of rightly dividing Your Word. Thank You for giving us both the truth and the tenderness to speak it boldly and graciously. Thank You for the beautiful design of marriage—where love, leadership, and mutual submission reflect Christ and His Bride. Now, Holy Spirit, guide us into wisdom, compassion, and clarity as we minister to the hearts of men and women today. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen.”

🧭 ISSUE ONE: “WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS”

📜 Scripture:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." — Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)(Also read verses 23–25 for context)

🔍 Translation in Plain English: “Wives, offer your loving respect and willing support to your own husband, just as you would to the Lord Jesus.”

Now let me be plain and pastoral here: This ain’t about being barefoot, silent, or shoved into the shadows. And it surely ain’t about being a doormat. This is about divine design, not domination.

The word "submit" in Greek is hupotasso, a military term that means to voluntarily line up under for the sake of order and mission. It's about cooperation, not control. It’s about mission, not misery.

🪶 Illustration:

Picture a dance—a slow, smooth, God-honoring waltz. Now imagine a couple where both partners are trying to lead…you end up with stompin' feet and busted toes. But when the man leads with grace and the woman follows with trust, what you get is a beautiful rhythm of unity.

Submission isn’t silence. It’s symphony.

And I’ll tell you, if a man’s doing what Ephesians 5:25 tells him—loving her like Christ loves the Church, sacrificially and selflessly—then that woman won’t be submitting out of fear. She’ll be responding out of joy.

🧭 ISSUE TWO: “WOMEN STRUGGLE WITH SUBMISSION? WELL, SO DO MEN!”

Let’s bring the men into this holy equation, shall we?

📜 Scripture:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." — Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)

You see, God asked women to submit—but He asked men to die! Now, that’s a tall order for any fella who still thinks he’s the captain of his own ship.

Here’s the truth: Men struggle to “submit” every day too—not to a woman, but to the Bride role God has placed us in as part of the Church. We are all the Bride of Christ. So, fellas, before you puff up about being the “head of the house,” remember: you're called to love her like Jesus loved us—and last I checked, that got Him nailed to a cross.

🪶 Illustration:

I once read about a brother in counseling, “You want your wife to submit? Then die to yourself first—every day. Because Jesus didn’t bark commands at His Bride from a recliner with a remote in His hand. He carried a cross, not a crown, until the mission was complete.”

He laughed and said, “Well, Pastor, I didn’t expect marriage to come with a crucifixion!”I said, “Son, love always comes with a cost. That’s why it’s so valuable.”

🎯 EXPLANATION: MUTUAL MISSION, NOT MUTUAL MISERY

This isn’t about who’s in charge, but about who’s in Christ. God never meant for marriage to be a battlefield. It’s supposed to be a Gospel field—a place where grace grows and love is planted deep.

Yes, wives are told to submit—but husbands are told to lead by laying down their lives. You don’t get to be the head without carrying the cross.

Let me say this, Southern plain: if more men acted like Jesus, more women wouldn’t mind following them.

🗣️ FINAL WORD TO THE LADIES

Ladies, don’t stumble over the word “submit.”Jesus submitted to the Father—not because He was less, but because there was a greater mission at stake. Submission is not a loss of dignity; it’s a display of strength, restraint, trust, and faith.

You’re not beneath your husband. You’re beside him, strong and beautiful, made in the image of God, and joined together to reflect a heavenly pattern to a broken world.

🗣️ FINAL WORD TO THE MEN

Gentlemen, don’t demand submission. Model Jesus. Be the first to apologize. The first to sacrifice. The first to listen. Don’t rule the house—serve it.

🚢 Close

Let’s help this confused world see that submission and sacrifice are two sides of the same Christ-shaped coin. When done right, marriage isn’t slavery—it’s sanctuary.

Pastor Terry

One Truth At A Time

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