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"Wives, submit to your husbands." Say what?

When examining the phrase "wives, submit to your husbands," it's crucial to address one of the most damaging aspects of its interpretation: the abuse and misuse of this Scripture to justify control, manipulation, and even domestic violence. This perversion of Paul's teaching is not only harmful but runs contrary to the very essence of Christian doctrine, which emphasizes love, justice, and the inherent dignity of all human beings.


1. **Misuse as Justification for Abuse**: Unfortunately, some individuals use this Scripture as a carte blanche to exert control over their spouses in harmful ways. They create a dangerous environment by isolating Ephesians 5:22 from its context and ignoring the instructions for mutual submission and sacrificial love. This is not a manifestation of Christian love but a distortion of Scriptural teaching.


2. **Emotional and Psychological Abuse**: It's not just physical abuse that becomes justified under the misuse of this text; emotional and psychological abuse can also occur. "Submission" is wrongly equated with "silence" or "obedience without question," suppressing the wife's emotional well-being and independence.


3. **Erosion of Self-Worth**: When Scripture is used to assert dominance, it can erode the person's self-worth on the receiving end. This starkly contrasts Christ's teachings, which aim to uplift and bring abundant life.


4. **Selective Reading of Scripture**: Those who misuse this passage often conveniently ignore the surrounding verses that call for husbands to love their wives with the self-sacrificing love of Christ for the Church. This selectivity maintains a power imbalance, violating the spirit of mutual respect and love that Paul advocates for.


5. **It's Unbiblical**: When "submission" is weaponized, it becomes the antithesis of the Gospel message. Christ never forced anyone to follow Him; He extended an invitation of love, grace, and fellowship. A marriage that reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church should inherently be a safe, loving, and respectful partnership.


6. **Legal and Ethical Ramifications**: Besides being unbiblical, the misuse of this Scripture to justify abuse has serious legal and ethical implications. Domestic abuse is not only a sin but also a crime. The Church should not be a place that shields abusers but should be a haven for victims and a proponent of justice.


7. **Responsibility of the Church**: The faith community has a responsibility to correct this misuse of Scripture, providing education and resources that uphold the dignity and safety of all members. Clergy, including myself, are important in guiding their congregations toward a more Biblically sound understanding of marital roles that aligns with the broader teachings on love, respect, and mutual submission.


In summary, the misuse and abuse of the principle of "wives submit to your husbands" are gross distortions of what the Scripture conveys. This subject warrants thorough and careful handling, especially by those in positions of Spiritual authority, to prevent perpetuating harm and misunderstanding.



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