10 Questions to Answer Before Marriage

A Faith-Building Manual Workbook for Couples

By Pastor Terry W. Bailey

DocBMedia / Hope-over-Cope Counseling

Table of Contents

1. Introduction: Why Preparation Matters

2. How to Use This Workbook

3. The 10 Questions (Each as a Chapter)

- Teaching & Biblical Foundation

- Real-Life Application

- Reflection & Discussion

- Prayer

- Action Steps

- Notes & Journaling

4. Next Steps for Couples

5. About the Author

6. Resources & Support

7. A Note on Support & Donations

Introduction: Why Preparation Matters

Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just a contract. As a pastor and counselor for over 45 years, I’ve seen the difference that honest preparation makes. This workbook is designed to help you and your future spouse build a marriage that stands strong—rooted in faith, hope, and love.

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established." (Proverbs 24:3, NIV)

How to Use This Workbook

- Set aside time each week to work through a chapter together.

- Read the teaching and scripture aloud.

- Discuss the reflection questions honestly.

- Write your answers in the provided spaces.

- Pray together using the sample prayers or your own words.

- Complete the action steps before moving to the next chapter.

- Use the journaling space for thoughts, prayers, or anything God puts on your heart.

Chapter 1: Why Do You Want to Get Married?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, NKJV)

Is your desire for marriage rooted in love, or do loneliness, pressure, or fear drive it? God’s design for marriage is a covenant, not a cure for emptiness. He joins hearts, not just hands.

Real-Life Application

Think about what first drew you to your partner. Are you seeking a lifelong companion, or hoping someone will fill a void only God can fill?

Reflection & Discussion

- What draws me to this person?

- Am I content in Christ, or am I looking for someone to complete me?

- What are my expectations for marriage?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Lord, help us to seek marriage for the right reasons. Fill our hearts with Your love and purpose. Amen.

Action Steps

- Each write a personal “why” for marriage and share.

- Pray together, asking God to reveal any unhealthy motives.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 2: Do You Share the Same Faith and Values?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3, NKJV)

Spiritual unity is the glue that holds everything else together. Differences in faith or values can create deep divisions over time.

Real-Life Application

Discuss your beliefs, values, and vision for life. Make sure you’re walking the same path.

Reflection & Discussion

- What are our core beliefs?

- How do we handle differences in values?

- What does spiritual unity mean to us?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Father, unite our hearts in faith and purpose. Help us to honor You together. Amen.

Action Steps

- List your top 5 values and compare them.

- Attend a worship service or Bible study together and discuss your experience.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 3: Have You Discussed Finances and Debt Honestly?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21, NKJV)

Money is one of the top causes of marital conflict. Secrets about money can erode trust. It’s not money itself, but the love of money and lack of honesty about it, that can sink a marriage.

Real-Life Application

Be transparent about your income, debts, spending habits, and financial goals. Build a plan together.

Reflection & Discussion

- Are we open about our finances?

- What are our financial goals and challenges?

- How do we handle money differently?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Lord, give us wisdom and honesty in our finances. Help us to steward what You provide with integrity and unity. Amen.

Action Steps

- Share your financial history and current situation.

- Create a simple budget together.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 4: Do You Understand God’s Design for Marriage?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25, NKJV)

Marriage is a covenant—a sacred promise before God—not just a legal contract. A contract says, “I’ll protect my rights.” A covenant says, “I’ll lay down my rights for your good.”

Real-Life Application

Are you both willing to serve, sacrifice, and love unconditionally, as Christ loves the Church? Understanding this difference is key to a lasting union.

Reflection & Discussion

- What does covenant mean to us?

- Are we willing to put each other first, as Christ did for us?

- How do we show sacrificial love?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Jesus, teach us to love as You love. Please help us to honor the covenant of marriage with humility and grace. Amen.

Action Steps

- Read Ephesians 5:21-33 together and discuss.

- Write a list of ways you can serve each other.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 5: Can You Forgive Quickly and Without Scorekeeping?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32, NKJV)

Every marriage needs two good forgivers. No one is perfect, and you will both make mistakes. Bitterness is the slow leak that deflates love.

Real-Life Application

Practice grace and forgiveness daily, just as God forgives us. Don’t keep a mental list of wrongs.

Reflection & Discussion

- How do we handle hurt and disappointment?

- Are we quick to forgive, or do we hold grudges?

- What does forgiveness look like in our relationship?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Father, give us hearts that forgive wholly and quickly. Let Your grace flow through us to each other. Amen.

Action Steps

- Share a time you needed forgiveness and how it was handled.

- Pray for the strength to forgive as Christ forgave you.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 6: How Do You Handle Conflict?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1, NKJV)

Disagreements are inevitable, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Arguments don’t destroy marriages—pride does.

Real-Life Application

Learn to listen, apologize, and seek solutions together. Healthy conflict can actually strengthen your bond if handled with humility and respect.

Reflection & Discussion

- How do we respond to conflict?

- Are we willing to listen and seek peace?

- What is our “fighting style”?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Lord, teach us to handle conflict with humility and love. Please help us to fight for each other, not with each other. Amen.

Action Steps

- Identify a recent disagreement and discuss how it was resolved.

- Set ground rules for healthy conflict.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 7: Are You Emotionally Whole Without the Other Person?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." (Colossians 2:10, NKJV)

Wholeness attracts wholeness. Only Jesus can heal our deepest wounds. Entering marriage as two whole individuals creates a stronger, healthier partnership.

Real-Life Application

Be secure in your identity in Christ, not dependent on your spouse to “complete” you.

Reflection & Discussion

- Am I emotionally healthy and whole?

- Do I expect my spouse to fix what only God can heal?

- How do I find my identity in Christ?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Jesus, make me whole in You. Heal my heart and prepare me to love from a place of strength and security. Amen.

Action Steps

- Each write a list of your strengths and areas for growth.

- Pray for healing and wholeness in any broken areas.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 8: Have You Talked About Children, Roles, and Family Boundaries?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6, NKJV)

Before you say “I do,” have honest conversations about whether you want children, how you’ll raise them, and what roles each of you will play in the family. Discuss boundaries with extended family and how you’ll protect your marriage from outside pressures.

Real-Life Application

Clear expectations now prevent confusion and conflict later.

Reflection & Discussion

- What are our hopes and expectations for children?

- How will we handle family boundaries and roles?

- What traditions or values do we want to pass on?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Lord, guide our family conversations. Give us unity and wisdom as we plan for the future. Amen.

Action Steps

- Discuss your views on parenting, roles, and family boundaries.

- Write a family mission statement together.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 9: Are You Both Willing to Grow Spiritually and Personally?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:18, NKJV)

A marriage that doesn’t grow will eventually drift. Support each other’s dreams and callings. A thriving marriage is one where both partners are constantly learning and growing—together and individually.

Real-Life Application

Commit to praying together, studying God’s Word, and encouraging each other’s personal growth.

Reflection & Discussion

- Are we committed to growing together?

- How can we support each other’s spiritual and personal growth?

- What are our dreams and goals?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Father, help us to grow in grace and knowledge. Let our marriage be a place of encouragement and growth. Amen.

Action Steps

- Set spiritual and personal growth goals together.

- Plan a regular “growth check-in” as a couple.

Notes & Journaling

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Chapter 10: If God Said ‘Wait,’ Would You Obey?

Teaching & Biblical Foundation

"Love is patient, love is kind." (1 Corinthians 13:4, NKJV)

Love is patient. Lust is pushy. Are you willing to wait for God’s timing, even if it means delaying your plans? Waiting reveals whether your relationship is built on God’s will or just good feelings.

Real-Life Application

Trust that God’s timing is perfect, and He knows what’s best for you both.

Reflection & Discussion

- Are we willing to wait for God’s best?

- Do we trust God’s timing over our own desires?

- How do we handle waiting and uncertainty?

Write your thoughts below:

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Prayer

Lord, give us patience and trust in Your timing. Help us to wait for Your best in every area of our lives. Amen.

Action Steps

- Discuss any areas where you feel rushed or pressured.

- Pray for patience and discernment together.

Notes & Journaling

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Next Steps for Couples

- Review your answers and prayers together.

- Seek wise counsel if you find areas of concern.

- Commit to ongoing growth—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.

- Consider meeting with a pastor or Christian counselor for pre-marital sessions.

About the Author

Pastor Terry W. Bailey has served as a pastor, chaplain, and counselor for over 45 years. His passion is to help individuals and couples build lives rooted in biblical truth, hope, and practical wisdom.

Resources & Support

- DocBMedia Website

- Recommended Books & Studies

- Local Church Directory

- Christian Counseling Services

A Note on Support & Donations

This workbook is offered freely as a resource to strengthen marriages and families. If this guide has blessed you, please consider donating to support DocBMedia and help us continue providing hope-filled resources to others. Your support makes a difference!

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey. May God bless you as you build a marriage that lasts.

Terry W. Bailey

Marriage & Family Counselor | DocBMedia / The Midnight Watch

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